1.家人面前小清新，生人面前文静帝，老师面前学习帝，同学面前重口味，爱人面前小萝莉，闺蜜面前女流氓。
1. Innocent in front of family, quiet in front of strangers, studious in front of teachers, edgy in front of classmates, little loli in front of a lover, and a female hooligan in front of best friends.
2.如果我的人生是一部电影，那你就是中途弹出来的广告。
2. If my life is a movie, then you are the ad that pops up halfway through.
3.我允许你走进我的世界，但不许你在我的世界里走来走去。
3. I allow you to enter my world, but I won’t allow you to walk around in it.
4.您的QQ已中木马病毒，请发送“我爱你”启动防火墙，系统将自动为您杀毒。
4. Your QQ has been infected with a Trojan virus. Please send “I love you” to activate the firewall, and the system will automatically disinfect it for you.
5.生活可以将就，生活也可以讲究！
5. Life can be made do, or life can be exquisite!
6.你的射击成绩真是太糟了，我要是你，我就立刻自杀，为以防万一你要多带一些子弹的。
6. Your shooting score is really terrible. If I were you, I would commit suicide immediately, just in case you need to bring extra bullets.
7.还有什么资格吃，我再胖下去就没人要了。
7. What qualifications do I have to eat? If I get any fatter, no one will want me.
8.小时候我以为自己长大后可以拯救整个世界，等长大后才发现整个世界都拯救不了我……
8. When I was young, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world couldn’t save me…
9.手机我对不起你，每天把你按的死去活来的！
9. I’m sorry, phone. I press you to death every day!
10.就算是Believe中间还是有个lie，就算是Friend最后还是免不了end，就算是Lover最后还是会over，就算是Forget也得先get才行，就算有Wife心里也夹杂着if…
10. Even in “Believe,” there is a “lie”; even in “Friend,” there is an “end”; even in “Lover,” there is an “over”; even in “Forget,” you have to “get” first; even with a “Wife,” there is still an “if” in the heart…
11.你出生后是不是被扔上去次，但只被接住过次？
11. Were you thrown up in the air times after birth, but only caught once?
12.刚刚和同事一起边聊天边上嘘嘘，想着都是男人，也没什么，谁知刚掏出来，就发现同事的眼神盯在了我的JJ上，我低头一看，卧槽！一圈残存的抽纸。
12. Just now, I was chatting with a colleague while using the urinal. Thinking we were both men, there was nothing wrong with it. But as soon as I took it out, I noticed my colleague’s gaze on my JJ. I looked down and, damn it! There was a ring of residual toilet paper on it.
13.世上淑女不多，可装着装着就多了。
13. There aren’t many ladies in the world, but there are more and more who pretend to be.
14.虚假的最高境界就是，让你再见正品时都不再相信那是正品了。
14. The highest level of falsehood is when you no longer believe the genuine product when you see it again.
15.楼主姓袁，刚刚有了孩子，想给孩子起名，求网友想个好名字。楼下神回复：袁芳，你怎么看？
15. I, with the surname Yuan, just had a child and want to give them a good name. Please, netizens, help me think of a good name. A witty reply from the next floor: Yuan Fang, what do you think?
16.谎言与誓言的区别在于：一个是听的人当真了，一个是说的人当真了。
16. The difference between a lie and a vow is that one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the speaker.
17.孔雀拼命开屏，却露出屁眼！
17. The peacock tries so hard to show off its feathers, but ends up revealing its rear.
18.师太，你等着，老衲去让佛祖赐婚！
18. Wait, Master, I’ll go ask the Buddha for a marriage blessing!
19.我嗅到浓郁的香奈尔，却也被那种陌生呛了一鼻。也许，我却不知道，那时的感受了。那里没有那么美好，没有安全感，归属感。我想要的自由呢，不完全地体验到了。
19. I smell the rich Chanel, but I am also choked by that unfamiliar scent. Perhaps, I don’t know, how I felt back then. It wasn’t that beautiful there, no sense of security or belonging. Where is the freedom I wanted? I experienced it incompletely.
20.我要玩的是感觉，不是你的器官！
20. I want to play for the feeling, not your organ!
21.等我有钱了，我就买一辆公交车，专门走公交专用车道，专门停在公交车站，等有人想上车了，我就说：对不起，这是私家车。
21. When I’m rich, I’ll buy a bus and use the bus-only lanes, stopping only at bus stops. When someone wants to get on, I’ll say, “Sorry, this is a private vehicle.”
22.你说你以后可能会和不喜欢的人结婚，没关系，我愿意做那个你不喜欢的人。
22. You said you might marry someone you don’t like in the future. No worries, I’m willing to be that person you don’t like.
23.死啦！没有希望了！我不甘心呀，我还有个心愿，就是穿上晚礼服，跳进一个挤满美女的浴池，然后被她们弄得死去活来！
23. I’m dead! There’s no hope! I’m not reconciled yet, I still have a wish, which is to put on an evening gown and jump into a bathtub full of beautiful women, then be toyed with by them until I’m half-dead!
24.卸无可卸的包袱，退无可退的道路；忍无可忍的眼泪，追无可追的前途。
24. The burden that can’t be put down, the road that can’t be retreated; the tears that can’t be held back, the future that can’t be chased.
25.有时候，不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看的太重。
25. Sometimes, it’s not that the other party doesn’t care about you, but you put them on a pedestal.
26.天赐你一双翅膀，就应该被红烧…
26. Heaven gave you a pair of wings, and they should be braised…
27.好男人，就是和媳妇吵架时，抱着必输的心态。
27. A good man is someone who, when arguing with his wife, has a mindset of admitting defeat.
28.什么世道啊这是，人活得像狗，狗活得像人。
28. What kind of world is this? People live like dogs, and dogs live like people.
29.本人已成仙，有事请发烟，佛说有烟没火成不了正果，有火没烟成不了仙。
29. I have become an immortal, if you have any business, please send a cigarette. Buddha said that without fire, you can’t achieve enlightenment, and without a cigarette, you can’t become an immortal.
30.你不觉得人最重要就是讲信用吗？答应别人的承诺打死都要做到。
30. Don’t you think the most important thing in a person is to keep their word? Promises made to others should be fulfilled even at the cost of one’s life.
31.手拿菜刀砍电线，一路火花带闪电。
31. Holding a kitchen knife to chop the electric wire, creating sparks and lightning along the way.
32.小时侯，我家里很穷，没钱买自行车，我只好每天打的上学。初中的时候，因为我成绩太突出，学校领导留我多读了两年。初中毕业后，高中的校长觉得我很有前途，就多收了我三万。高三的时候，班主任认为我已经有独立生存的能力，于是让我退了学。
32. When I was young, my family was very poor, and we couldn’t afford a bicycle, so I had to take a taxi to school every day. In junior high, because my grades were outstanding, the school leaders asked me to stay for two more years. After graduating from junior high, the principal of the high school thought I had great potential and charged me 30,000 more. In my senior year of high school, the headteacher believed I had the ability to survive independently, so he asked me to drop out.
33.人生最大的糗事就是梦里找厕所！最最大的糗事是梦没醒，厕所找到了。
33. The most embarrassing thing in life is looking for a toilet in a dream! The most embarrassing thing is waking up and finding the toilet.
34.有刺青的不一定是流氓，他可能是岳飞。
34. Not everyone with a tattoo is a gangster; they might be Yue Fei.
35.第一次做饭，问我爸咋样，他说：“这盐炒的不错，有淡淡的蛋香”。
35. The first time I cooked, I asked my dad how it was, and he said, “This salt-fried dish is not bad, with a faint egg aroma.”
36.你以为你是谁？你就是泼出去的水我连盆都不要。
36. Who do you think you are? You’re like the water I’ve splashed out, and I don’t even want the basin back.
37.为了祖国下一代，再丑也要谈恋爱，谈到世界充满爱……
37. For the sake of the next generation of our motherland, even if you’re ugly, you must still fall in love, and make the world full of love…
38.老天，你让夏天和冬天同居了吗？！生出这种鬼天气！
38. God, did you let summer and winter live together?! They created this weird weather!
39.高中有次上计算机课，旁边同学的电脑老半天开不起来，只见他大手一招：“老板，换台机子。”
39. In high school, during a computer class, my classmate’s computer wouldn’t start for a long time. He waved his hand and said, “Boss, change the computer.”
40.在通往牛逼的路上，我一路狂奔！
40. On the road to being awesome, I’m sprinting all the way!
41.我们好像进入了一个只有拿出钱才能证明爱心的时代。
41. It seems that we have entered an era where love can only be proven by spending money.
42.按揭就是把你按倒在地，一层层向下揭皮…
42. Mortgage is like being pressed to the ground and having one’s skin peeled off layer by layer…
43.文思三千不如胸脯四两，才高八斗不如胯下半斤！
43. A thousand thoughts are not as good as a four-tael bosom, and eight bushels of talent are not as good as half a catty between the legs!
44.网络就像是监狱，本来是偷了个钱包进来的，等出去的时候就什么都学会了。
44. The internet is like a prison; you come in for stealing a wallet, and when you leave, you’ve learned everything.
45.火锅城为了招揽生意，在广告牌上写了这样一句话：“自助火锅，每位元，身高米以下的儿童免费。”幼儿园的阿姨看后无比激动，她怀揣元钱，领着班上的名小朋友来到了火锅城。
45. To attract customers, a hot pot restaurant wrote on its sign: “Buffet hot pot, X yuan per person, children under Y meters tall eat for free.” A kindergarten teacher, after seeing this, was extremely excited. She took out her money and led her class of Z children to the hot pot restaurant.
46.大学老师一枚，上学期期末批改卷纸的时候发现一奇葩卷纸，第一页只写了几行字“老师，我不会，后面不用看了，啥也没写。”当我翻到第二页的时候，老子受惊了，还有一行字：“老师，你不相信我是吧！”
46. As a university teacher, I found a strange exam paper while grading them last semester. The first page only had a few lines: “Teacher, I don’t know, don’t bother looking at the rest, nothing is written.” When I turned to the second page, I was shocked to find another line: “Teacher, you don’t believe me, do you?”
47.有人说我胖？真的搞笑，大家不都两位数，三位数吗？你一位数？
47. Someone said I’m fat? That’s really funny. Aren’t we all in the double or triple digits? Are you in single digits?
48.教授在河边看到两只乌龟缩着一动不动,问一农民：它们在干吗？农民说：在PK。 教授不解：动都没动过，P什么K？老农：在比谁的寿命长。教授：可是壳上有甲骨文的那只，早就死了啊？这时，另一只猛然探出头来骂道：MD，死了也不吭一声！另一只也伸出头来：“SB！专家说啥你信啥！”
48. A professor saw two turtles motionless by the river and asked a farmer what they were doing. The farmer replied that they were having a PK (competition). The professor was puzzled: “They haven’t moved at all, what kind of PK is this?” The farmer explained that they were comparing who lived longer. The professor then noticed that one of the turtles had oracle bone inscriptions on its shell and said it must be dead. At that moment, the other turtle suddenly stuck its head out and cursed: “Damn it, why didn’t you say anything when you died?” The other turtle also stretched its neck out and said, “Idiot! Believe everything the expert says!”
49.洗脸只洗脸颊刷牙只刷门牙。
49. When washing my face, I only wash my cheeks; when brushing my teeth, I only brush my front teeth.
50.当某人装酷时，姐都会低下头，不是姐害羞，姐是在找砖头！
50. When someone acts cool, I lower my head. It’s not because I’m shy, but because I’m looking for a brick!
51.只有能力强会被当成纯技术人员；而光会社交拍马又会被认为没有真才实学；所以，要想在单位中脱颖而出，最重要的是有关系。
51. Only those with strong abilities are considered pure technical personnel; while those who are good at socializing and flattering are thought to have no real talent. Therefore, to stand out in a workplace, the most important thing is to have connections.
52.你让我滚，我滚了。你让我回来，对不起，滚远了！
52. You told me to roll away, and I did. You want me to come back? Sorry, I’ve rolled too far!
53.染指流年之间，我学习并领悟了怎样用一个旁观者的姿态来诠释一切。
53. Between the fleeting years, I have learned to interpret everything with the attitude of a bystander.
54.一个好妻子决不会要求丈夫给她买这样买那样；一个好丈夫决不会等着妻子开口才买。
54. A good wife will never ask her husband to buy her this or that; a good husband will never wait for his wife to speak up before buying something.
55.我没有一个华丽的外表，但我有一副闷骚的灵魂。
55. I don’t have a gorgeous appearance, but I have a sultry soul.
56.理想很丰满，现实却很骨感！
56. Ideals are very full, but reality is very bony!
57.青春就像卫生纸，看着挺多的，用着用着就不够了。
57. Youth is like toilet paper; it seems like there’s plenty, but as you use it, it runs out.
58.诸葛亮出山前也没带过兵啊，你们凭啥要我有工作经验。
58. Zhuge Liang didn’t have any military experience before he came out of the mountains; why do you expect me to have work experience?
59.你进外企我当工人，因为那天是监考老师量多的日子——-坐我前面不动了！命呀！
59. You work for a foreign company, and I’m a worker because that day was when the proctor had a lot to drink – they sat in front of me without moving! Such is life!
60.在我心中，女神也是女人，女神也有七情六欲，女神也要上厕所。女神只是某个人对某个女生的自己心中的定位，你的女神不一定是我的女神，我的女神永远是我的女神，大家的女神才是真正的女神。综合上述，女神没有什么，屌丝不用等到天亮，属于逆袭的时刻到了……
60. In my heart, a goddess is also a woman. A goddess has emotions and desires, and she also goes to the bathroom. A goddess is just an individual’s perception of a certain girl. Your goddess may not be my goddess, and my goddess will always be mine. The real goddess belongs to everyone. In summary, there is nothing special about a goddess; a loser doesn’t have to wait until dawn – the time for a counterattack has arrived…
61.对不起，你拨打的用户已结婚。
61. Sorry, the person you dialed is already married.
62.我是白领：今天领了薪水，交了房租水电，买了油米泡面，摸了口袋，感叹一声，这个月工资又白领了。
62. I am a white-collar worker: Today I received my salary, paid the rent, utilities, and bought oil, rice, and instant noodles. I touched my pocket and sighed, my salary is gone again this month.
63.乐观者发明了游艇，悲观者发明了救生圈；乐观者建造了高楼，悲观者生产了救火栓；乐观者都去做了玩命的赛车手，悲观者却穿起了白大褂当了医生；最后乐观者发射了宇宙飞船，悲观者则开办了保险公司。
63. Optimists invented yachts, pessimists invented lifebuoys; optimists built skyscrapers, pessimists produced fire hydrants; optimists became daring race car drivers, pessimists put on white coats and became doctors; finally, optimists launched spaceships, while pessimists started insurance companies.
64.你像风轻盈，你像水温柔，你像雾朦胧，你像月浪漫，你像日热情，你像海宽容，你像牛健康，你像龟长寿，你像兔可爱，总之一句话：你没一点像人！
64. You are as light as the wind, as gentle as water, as misty as fog, as romantic as the moon, as passionate as the sun, as tolerant as the sea, as healthy as a cow, as long-lived as a turtle, as cute as a rabbit. In short, you don’t have a single human trait!
65.一见钟情，钟的不是情，是脸……
65. Love at first sight is not about love, but about appearance…
66.如果你是一只鱼儿，那我就是鱼钩，我要钓你；如果你是一座小山，那我就是山边的小河，我要绕你；如果你是一馍，那我就是一碗羊肉汤，我要泡你。
66. If you are a fish, then I am a fishing hook, and I want to catch you; if you are a hill, then I am the river beside it, and I want to surround you; if you are a bun, then I am a bowl of mutton soup, and I want to dip you.
67.钻石恒久远，一颗就破产！
67. Diamonds are forever, but one can lead to bankruptcy!
68.我当年也是个痴情的种子，结果下了场雨……淹死了。
68. I used to be a devoted seed, but then it rained… and I drowned.
69.单身的典型标志就是：一个月流量套餐早没了，通话套餐还剩一大半。
69. A typical sign of being single is: the monthly data package is gone, but there’s still plenty left in the call package.
70.年轻算什么？谁没年轻过？你老过吗？真是的。
70. What’s the big deal about being young? Haven’t we all been young before? Have you ever been old? Seriously.
71.不怕虎一样的敌人，就怕猪一样的队友。
71. It’s not the enemy like a tiger that scares me, but the teammate like a pig.
72.我是小蜜蜂呀，飞入花丛中呀，飞呀，插插，飞呀，插插！
72. I am a little bee, flying into the flowers, flying, buzzing, flying, buzzing!
73.在遇上诱惑之前他总是坐怀不乱；在没有用刑之前他总是坚贞不屈！
73. He always remained unflustered before temptation; he always remained steadfast before torture.
74.暗恋是成功的哑剧，说出来就成了悲剧。
74. Unrequited love is a successful mime act; once spoken, it becomes a tragedy.
75.如果我没死是我的错，那么请在十八层地狱迎接我。
75. If my not dying is my fault, then please greet me in the 18th level of hell.
76.你都别老盯人看，再看该买票了，人动物园买猴不得有本钱么！还有，看你长得样吧，丫我前年胃液都吐出来了，我说伱可以开家减肥店了，一准挣钱，这脸长得多敬业啊！
76. Don’t stare at people all the time; if you keep staring, you’ll have to buy a ticket. If you want to buy a monkey from the zoo, don’t you need capital? Also, looking at your appearance, I vomited my stomach acid from two years ago. I tell you, you can open a weight loss shop, and it will definitely make money. Your face is so dedicated!
77.是不是帅哥，剪个平头就知道了；是不是美女，卸了妆就知道了。
77. To find out if a man is handsome, just cut his hair short; to find out if a woman is beautiful, just see her without makeup.
78.我们去打的 路漫漫其修远兮，不如我们去打的。
78. Let’s take a taxi. The road is long and has a distant repair, so let’s take a taxi instead.
79.成为你上司的动力 不要给我压力，那将是我成为你上司的动力。
79. The motivation to become your boss: Don’t put pressure on me, as it will be the motivation for me to become your boss.
80.世界上有两种人，一种是懂二进制的，一种不懂。
80. There are two types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
81.我想早恋，但是已经晚了……
81. I wanted to fall in love early, but it’s too late…
82.自卑有多种档次。最高档次的自卑的表现是吹嘘自己干什么都是天才。
82. There are various levels of inferiority. The highest level of inferiority is boasting that you are a genius at everything you do.
83.以后别再指责我有错别字了，我这是防伪技术。
83. Don’t accuse me of having typos anymore; it’s my anti-counterfeiting technology.
84.一个受过教育的笨蛋，是多么可怕的笨蛋啊！
84. An educated fool is多么可怕的笨蛋!
85.只有最亲密的人，才会口无遮拦的损你，同时在你最危难的时候，捞你上岸——请珍惜自己的最佳损友——好基友，一辈子！
85. Only the closest people will speak their minds in teasing you, and at the same time, help you out when you’re in the most difficult situation - cherish your best friend who teases you - best buddies, for a lifetime!
86.兄弟，如果哪天哥哥挂了一定要记得给哥哥烧美女啊！
86. Brother, if one day I kick the bucket, make sure to burn a beauty for me!
87.虽然你身上喷了古龙水，但我还是能隐约闻到一股人渣味儿。
87. Although you have sprayed cologne on yourself, I can still vaguely smell the scent of a scumbag.
88.一闪一闪亮晶晶，没有一颗是真心，全都是一堆垃圾。
88. Twinkle, twinkle, not a single one is sincere; they are all just a pile of garbage.
89.爱情像鬼，相信的人多，遇见的人少。
89. Love is like a ghost; many people believe in it, but few have encountered it.
90.邻居看到我在打孩子，忙上前来制止我，我满不在乎的微微笑道：“怕啥的，下雨天打孩子，闲着也是闲着，玩呗。”“那你他妈的打我儿子干啥！”
90. The neighbor saw me spanking my child and rushed over to stop me. I casually smiled and said, “Why worry? It’s raining, and there’s nothing better to do than play around by spanking the child.” “Then why the hell are you spanking my son?!”
91.千万别等到人人都说你丑时才发现自己真的丑。
91. Never wait until everyone says you’re ugly to realize that you really are.
92.出尔反尔是我的作风，众叛亲离是我的现状，长命百岁是我的结果。
92. Going back on my word is my style; being abandoned by everyone is my current situation; living a long life is my result.
93.失败并不意味你浪费了时间和生命，失败表明你有理由重新开始。
93. Failure doesn’t mean you’ve wasted time and life; it shows you have a reason to start over.
94.你妹的敢诅咒我吃方便面没调料包，我就诅咒你吃方便面只有调料包。
94. If you dare to curse me for not having seasoning packs in my instant noodles, I’ll curse you to only have seasoning packs in your instant noodles.
95.男人所说的内在美,指的是胸罩里面,而不是内心。
95. When men talk about inner beauty, they mean inside the bra, not the inner heart.
96.女汉子会有一群兄弟陪着他，萌妹子会有一群男朋友陪着她。
96. A tomboy will have a group of brothers accompanying her, while a cute girl will have a group of boyfriends accompanying her.
97.一女人对一男人说：来我家吧，我下面给你吃。
97. A woman said to a man: “Come to my place, and I’ll make you some noodles.”
98.房间不要多豪华，也不需要多干净，对于两个热恋中的男女来说，只要能躺下的地方都适宜做爱。
98. The room doesn’t need to be luxurious or clean; for two people in love, any place that can lie down is suitable for making love.
99.俗话说：你笑，全世界都跟着你笑；你哭，全世界只有你一个人哭。
99. As the saying goes: When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you; when you cry, only you cry alone.
100.天若有情天亦老，人若有情死得早！
100. If heaven has feelings, it will age; if people have feelings, they die sooner!
1.别老喊我禽兽，多点了解我，你会知道我禽兽不如的。
1. Don’t always call me a beast; get to know me more, and you’ll find out I’m worse than a beast.
2.谁他二大爷的告诉我诺基亚能砸核桃，现在黑屏了。
2. Who the hell told me that Nokia can crack walnuts? Now it’s blacked out.
3.男人没本事就别说女人太现实，女人没实力就别说男人太花心。
3. Men without ability shouldn’t say women are too realistic; women without strength shouldn’t say men are too flirtatious.
4.真正的勇士敢于正视漂亮的美眉，敢于直面惨淡的单身。
4. A true warrior dares to face beautiful girls and the bleak reality of being single.
5.心情好的时候，听忐忑挺好听。心情不好的时候，听什么都忐忑。
5. When in a good mood, listening to “Tan Te” is quite pleasant. When in a bad mood, listening to anything feels uneasy.
6.我的优点：勇于认错；缺点：坚决不改。
6. My strengths: bravely admitting mistakes; weaknesses: resolutely not changing them.
7.放下一勾，勾上一条，放电一电，电死一片。
7. Drop a hook, catch a fish, give a shock, electrocute a bunch.
8.中学时有贼心没贼胆，大学时有贼胆没贼心，现在贼心贼胆都有了，但贼没有了。
8. In high school, I had the heart but not the courage; in college, I had the courage but not the heart. Now I have both heart and courage, but no thief.
9.长的帅就是烦，我要是女生早就嫁给自己了。
9. Being handsome is annoying; if I were a girl, I would have married myself already.
10.其实我不是一般丑，我只是美的太过分了。
10. Actually, I’m not just average-looking ugly; I’m excessively beautiful!
11.看的太透彻，因此活得不正经！
11. Seeing too clearly makes for an unconventional life!
12.鸭子不会飞，始终飞不起来，虽然有翅膀。
12. Ducks can’t fly, they just can’t get off the ground, even with wings.
13.抛出去的砖头，不一定能引出玉，倒很可能砸到人。
13. A thrown brick may not reveal a jade, but it’s likely to hit someone.
14.那人长得吧，怎么说呢。像素比较低！
14. That person’s appearance, well, how to put it… low resolution!
15.看着电视剧里的情怀，我忍不住哭了。
15. Watching the sentiments in TV dramas, I couldn’t help but cry.
16.当科学无法解释的时候，长相就会来决定一切。
16. When science cannot explain, looks become the deciding factor.
17.没有医保和寿险的，天黑后不要见义勇为。
17. If you don’t have medical or life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark.
18.隐身不是怕被打扰，而是给从未有人打扰一个借口。
18. Being invisible is not about avoiding disturbance, but providing an excuse for never being disturbed.
19.如果你做不了陈冠希，那你就好好学人家谢霆锋吧！
19. If you can’t be Edison Chen, then learn from Nicholas Tse!
20.听说你过的不好，我坐在门口乐了一整天。
20. Hearing that you’re not doing well, I sat at the doorstep and laughed all day long.
21.这种烈女型女流氓，真是世所罕见。
21. Such a fierce and unscrupulous woman is truly a rare sight in this world.
22.别人只会骂你王八蛋，而我会拿出证据证明你就是王八蛋！
22. Others will only call you a bastard, but I will present evidence to prove that you are indeed a bastard!
23.不能因为我俩有过节，你就把我当节过。
23. Just because we have had conflicts, you can’t treat me as if I were a festival to celebrate.
24.英语不及格代表我爱国，我是爱国者哦。
24. Failing English represents my patriotism; I am a patriot, you know.
25.本人已死，有事烧纸。小事招魂，大事挖坟。实在想我，下来。
25. I am already dead, so if you have any business, just burn some paper for me. For minor matters, call my soul; for major issues, dig up my grave. If you really miss me, come down.
26.所谓情话，就是你说了一些自己都不相信的话，却希望对方相信。
26. So-called sweet words are those you say, even though you don’t believe them yourself, but hope the other party will believe.
27.我要对我喜欢的女孩说，我对你的爱情就像对人民币一样忠诚。
27. I want to tell the girl I like that my love for her is as loyal as my love for the Renminbi.
28.混社会是个体力活儿，讲究四门功课：闪转腾挪。
28. Mixing in society is a physically demanding job, focusing on four skills: dodging, turning, leaping, and moving.
29.谁说天下乌鸦一般黑？其实一个更比一个黑！
29. Who says all crows are equally black? In fact, one is darker than the other!
30.你说你爱我，却要离开我，你说你是不是在放屁！
30. You say you love me, but you want to leave me; aren’t you just talking nonsense!
31.有钱人终成眷属，没钱人一生痛苦。
31. The rich will eventually find their partners, while the poor will suffe
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