1.谁说我白，瘦，漂亮，我就跟他做好朋友。
1. Whoever says I am fair, thin, and beautiful, I will be best friends with him.
2.洗澡中，请勿打扰，偷窥请购票，个体四十，团体八折！
2. In the shower, do not disturb, peeping is allowed with a ticket, individuals 40, group 20% off!
3.师太，你等着，老衲去让佛祖赐婚！
3. Wait, my dear nun, I shall ask the Buddha for a blessing in marriage!
4.我太纯洁了，我纯洁的都有些无耻了！
4. I am so pure that I am almost shameless.
5.穿潮了，潮过头就是非主流，穿性感，性感过头就是坐台的。
5. Dressing trendy, too much is non-mainstream; dressing sexy, too much is like being an escort.
6.我的进步让他刮目相看，从此他失去了双眼。
6. My progress made him lose his sight in admiration, and he lost his eyes ever since.
7.我说我比较喜欢李白的诗，陆游气坏了，然后我家就没法上网了。
7. I said I prefer Li Bai’s poetry, Lu You got angry, and then I couldn’t access the internet at home.
8.心狠手辣的我，舔了一下自己的手指，被辣哭了。
8. As ruthless as I am, I licked my own finger and cried from the spiciness.
9.老师的教诲，小明没齿难忘，于是第二天，他镶了一副假牙。
9. The teachings of the teacher, Xiao Ming never forgot, so the next day, he got a set of dentures.
10.愚公临死前，把儿子叫到床前。愚公：移山移山!儿子：亮晶晶?愚公猝
10. On his deathbed, Yu Gong called his son over. Yu Gong: “Move the mountain, move the mountain!” Son: “Twinkle, twinkle?” Yu Gong passed away.
11.如果考试用QB做奖励，那么国家马上就会富强的。
11. If exams used QB as rewards, the country would become strong and prosperous immediately.
12.今天天气很好，在房间里宅久了，准备去客厅散散心。
12. The weather is nice today, after staying in the room for so long, I’m going to the living room to relax.
13.提问：为什么暑假一定比寒假长?回答：因为热胀冷缩。
13. Question: Why is summer vacation always longer than winter vacation? Answer: Because of thermal expansion and contraction.
14.心情不好的时候，我就半夜给别人打骚扰电话，把他们吵醒了，我就睡觉。
14. When I’m in a bad mood, I call others in the middle of the night to disturb their sleep, and then I go to bed.
15.一直对发型不满意的人，有一个共同点:不肯承认这是脸的问题。
15. People who are never satisfied with their hairstyles have one thing in common: they refuse to admit it’s a face issue.
16.我把所有的记忆串联成一部电影，一部悲剧就生产了。
16. I’ve strung all my memories together into a movie, and a tragedy is born.
17.都说姐漂亮，其实都是妆出来的。
17. They say I’m beautiful, but it’s all thanks to makeup.
18.挨饿这事，干得好就叫减肥;掐人这事，干得好就叫按摩;发呆这事，干得好就叫深沉;偷懒这事，干得好就叫享受;死皮赖脸这事，干得好就叫执著;装傻这事，如果干的好，那叫大智若愚。
18. Starving can be called dieting if done well; pinching can be called massage if done well; daydreaming can be called deep thinking if done well; being lazy can be called enjoying life if done well; being shameless can be called persistence if done well; acting foolish, if done well, is called acting wise in folly.
19.友情就像花瓶一样，被人一捣鼓就碎了。
19. Friendship is like a vase, it breaks easily when tampered with.
20.内练一口气，外练一口屁。
20. Cultivate inner strength and outer confidence.
21.能动手，就尽量别吵吵。
21. If you can take action, try not to argue.
22.能抗洪的尿布湿，才是真正的尿布湿！
22. A diaper that can hold back floods is truly a diaper.
23.你穿的很危险，但长得很安全。
23. Your outfit is dangerous, but your appearance is safe.
24.如果我是僵尸，我一定择吃掉所有好学生的脑。
24. If I were a zombie, I would choose to eat the brains of all the good students.
25.这个夏天出门就是进烤箱、走路就是麻辣烫、坐下就是铁板烧、还是别下雨了、下雨就成水煮鱼。
25. Going out in summer is like entering an oven, walking is like spicy hot pot, sitting is like iron板烧, and it’s better not to rain, or else it becomes boiled fish.
26.如果逃避就能不去面对的话，请送我一双溜冰鞋，让我跑的更快。
26. If escaping could make me not face things, please give me a pair of ice skates to run faster.
27.你走你的过街天桥，我过我的地下通道。
27. You take your overpass, and I’ll take my underground passage.
28.当年考完英语听力，悟出一个道理：有些话，只说给懂的人听。
28. After taking the English listening test, I realized a truth: some words are only spoken to those who understand.
29.之前有个姑娘问我借钱去整容，整的挺成功，我再也认不出是谁问我借钱了。
29. A girl once asked me for money to get plastic surgery, and it was so successful that I could no longer recognize who had borrowed money from me.
30.我痛恨这个看脸的世界，让我不知道哪个人才是真正的爱我。
30. I hate this world that values appearances, making me unsure who truly loves me.
31.别人都是笑起来很好看，但是你却不一样，你是看起来很好笑。
31. Everyone else looks good when they smile, but you are different; you look funny just by looking at you.
32.有些孩子，老幻想自己是公主，我就不一样，我是王子。
32. Some kids always fantasize about being princesses, but I am different; I am a prince.
33.路边一个卖西瓜的小贩在吆喝着不熟不要钱，我走过去看了看他，的确不认识，拿起两个西瓜走了。
33. A watermelon vendor on the roadside was shouting that if the watermelons were not ripe, they would be free. I went over and looked at him, and indeed, I didn’t recognize him, so I took two watermelons and left.
34.黑夜给了我黑色的鼠标，我却用它游戏到天明。
34. The night gave me a black mouse, but I used it to play games until dawn.
35.佛曰：打人用砖乎、求饶，照乎。乎不死再使劲乎。
35. Buddha said: Hit someone with a brick, if they beg for mercy, keep hitting. If they don’t die, hit harder.
36.其实我是故意不长个的，因为我恐高，长太高看着就怕。
36. I actually deliberately didn’t grow taller because I’m afraid of heights. If I were too tall, I would be scared just by looking up.
37.有事直接奔主题，不要拿你的无知，挑战我的黑名单。
37. Get straight to the point when you have something to say, don’t challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.
38.问：你喜欢我哪一点？答：我喜欢你离我远一点！
38. Q: Which part of me do you like? A: I like you staying away from me!
39.这个世界上我只相信两个人，一个是我，另一个不是你。
39. In this world, I only trust two people: one is me, and the other is not you.
40.鸭子太嚣张，兔子太多嘴，我是猪，我很乖。
40. Ducks are too arrogant, rabbits talk too much, I am a pig, and I am well-behaved.
41.日照香芦升子烟，李白来到烤鸭店，口水直流三千尺，一模兜里没有钱。
41. The sun shines on the fragrant reed, and Li Bai comes to the roast duck shop; his mouth waters for three thousand feet, but he has no money in his pocket.
42.俺从不写错字，但俺写通假字。
42. I never make mistakes in writing, but I write with homophones.
43.有困难要帮，没有困难制造困难也要帮。在美人面前则修正为：有危险要救，没有危险制造危险也要救。
43. If there is difficulty, help is needed; if there is no difficulty, create difficulty and help. In front of a beauty, it is modified to: If there is danger, save; if there is no danger, create danger and save.
44.如果有钱也是一种错，那我情愿一错再错。
44. If being rich is also a mistake, then I would rather make the same mistake again and again.
45.年纪轻轻，体重倒是不轻。余额不多，想买的倒是不少。
45. Young in age, but not light in weight. Not much balance, but many things to buy.
46.你们经过草丛的时候小心点，别弄脏了我这个月要吃的土。
46. Be careful when you pass through the grass; don’t dirty the soil I have to eat this month.
47.不要和傻逼争论了，你是小仙女，不能泄露了仙气。
47. Don’t argue with fools, you are a fairy, and you can’t reveal your fairy aura.
48.皮肤给你送了，段位给你打了，你现在跟我说你是男的，草泥马就算是男的我也要跟你在一起。
48. I’ve given you my skin, and I’ve played the game for you. Now you tell me you’re a guy? Even if you’re a guy, I still want to be with you.
49.人要是倒霉起来，吃火锅不管坐哪里，烟都往你脸上飘。
49. When people are unlucky, no matter where they sit when eating hot pot, the smoke always drifts to their face.
50.又到了起床靠毅力，洗衣靠耐力，上班靠洪荒之力，洗澡靠爆发力的季节了。
50. It’s that season again when getting up relies on willpower, washing clothes relies on endurance, going to work relies on the power of the primordial chaos, and taking a bath relies on explosive power.
51.悲伤已经在现代泛滥成灾了，所以记得对自己好点。
51. Sadness has become a disaster in modern times, so remember to treat yourself well.
52.时间过得真快，还差三百五十五天我们就认识一年了。
52. Time flies; in 350 days, we will have known each other for a year.
53.终于知道“友谊”在英语中为啥是friendship了，因为友谊的小船说翻就翻。
53. I finally understand why “friendship” in English is called friendship, because the boat of friendship can capsize at any time.
54.好看的人一年四季都很酷，而你只有秋酷。
54. Good-looking people are cool all year round, while you are only cool in autumn.
55.春眠不觉晓，挂Q莫骚扰。突闻QQ声，实话有多少。
55. In spring, I don’t wake up from sleep; don’t disturb me on QQ. Suddenly, I hear the sound of QQ, how much is true?
56.我要做个下载软件，名字叫掩耳。因为迅雷不及掩耳。
56. I want to make a download software called “Cover Ear,” because it is faster than covering one’s ears.
57.我爱你时，你说什么就是什么。我不爱你时，你说你是什么。
57. When I love you, whatever you say goes. When I don’t love you, even if you say what you are, it doesn’t matter.
58.天气热得像个笑话，日子过的像句废话。
58. The weather is hot like a joke, and life goes by like nonsense.
59.竟然有人我涂了蓝眼影，那简直是在侮辱我得黑眼圈!
59. Someone actually insulted my dark circles by putting blue eyeshadow on me!
60.不用怀疑，我就是你梦中的穷人。
60. No doubt about it, I am the poor person in your dreams.
61.当完全吃撑的时候，普通青年会一脸空虚地埋怨“撑死我了”，吃货则一脸轻松“我歇会儿”
61. When completely full, ordinary young people would complain emptily, “I’m so stuffed,” while foodies would casually say, “I’ll take a break.”
62.第一笔就起错了的画，只好一路地潦草下去。
62. If the first stroke is wrong in a painting, it’s best to continue with a careless approach.
63.夜深人静的时候，我常常问自己，当初决定来地球，到底是对是错！
63. In the dead of night, I often ask myself, was it right or wrong to decide coming to Earth?
64.中分看鼻子，齐刘海看脸型，斜刘海看气质，无刘海看五官，我适合蒙面！
64. For a center-parted hairstyle, focus on the nose; for a full bang, focus on the face shape; for a side bang, focus on the temperament; for no bang, focus on the facial features. I guess I’m suited for wearing a mask!
65.当初我看上你，因为我脑子进水了，现在我脑子抖干了。
65. I was attracted to you because my brain was soaked, but now my brain has dried up.
66.征婚启事：要求如下，A活的，B女的。
66. Marriage ad: Requirements are as follows, A) alive, B) female.
67.在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。
67. When looking at beautiful women on the street, a higher gaze means appreciation, while a lower gaze makes you a pervert.
68.我一在强调做人要低调。可你们非要给我掌声和尖叫。
68. I keep emphasizing the need for a low profile, but you all insist on giving me applause and screams.
69.不要把自己的伤口揭开给别人看，世界上多的不是医师，多的是撒盐的人。
69. Don’t expose your wounds to others; there are more people in the world who sprinkle salt than those who heal.
70.我现在终于解脱了，每次看你的作文我都有一种想要自杀的冲动！
70. I finally feel liberated now, as every time I read your essay, I felt an urge to commit suicide!
71.单身是一种领悟，恋爱是失误，分手是觉悟，结婚时错误，离婚是醒悟，再婚是执迷不悟，没有情人是废物，情人多了是动物。
71. Being single is an enlightenment, dating is a mistake, breaking up is an awakening, marriage is an error, divorce is a realization, remarriage is stubbornness, having no lover is waste, and having many lovers is beastly.
72.要在江湖混，最好是光棍！！
72. To get by in the world, it’s best to be single!
73.我还是很喜欢你，像风油精和辣条，声声不息。
73. I still like you very much, like the constant sound of wind oil and spicy strips.
74.说真的，我的床上功夫真的很厉害，我可以不吃不喝不上厕所在床上躺睡一天。
74. Honestly, I’m really good at staying in bed; I can lie there without eating, drinking, or using the bathroom for an entire day.
75.眉毛少的人没法做朋友，拍个照不让美白，因为一美白她眉毛就不见了。
75. People with sparse eyebrows can’t be friends; you can’t use beauty filters in photos because their eyebrows disappear when they’re applied.
76.帅多好啊!有士陪，有相日!有马骑，有车坐。还有兵保护。
76. How great it is to be handsome! With company from scholars, enjoying the company of beautiful women, riding horses, riding in carriages, and having soldiers to protect you.
77.自从人晒黑了，脸色好看了，牙齿变白了，喝酒都不脸红了。
77. Ever since I got tanned, my complexion has improved, my teeth look whiter, and I don’t even blush when drinking alcohol.
78.一直对发型不满意的人，有一个共同点：不肯承认这是脸的问题。
78. People who are always dissatisfied with their hairstyles have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it’s an issue with their face.
79.永远都不要跟同一个傻子争辩，因为争辩到最后，会分不清谁是傻子。
79. Never argue with the same fool, because in the end, you won’t be able to tell who the fool is.
80.这个世界上我只相信两个人，一个是我，另一个不是你。
80. In this world, I only trust two people: one is me, and the other is not you.
81.午夜12点准时下线!否则，公主就会变回灰姑娘。
81. At midnight, 12 o’clock sharp, I go offline! Otherwise, the princess will turn back into Cinderella.
82.不管多大岁数的人类成员，在钱面前，一概年轻。
82. Regardless of age, human beings are all young in front of money.
83.鸭子太嚣张，兔子太多嘴，我是猪，我很乖。
83. Ducks are too arrogant, rabbits talk too much, I am a pig, and I am well-behaved.
84.日照香芦升子烟，李白来到烤鸭店，口水直流三千尺，一模兜里没有钱。
84. As the sun rises, the fragrant reed emits smoke; Li Bai arrives at the roast duck shop, his mouth watering for three thousand feet, only to find no money in his pocket.
85.我想当皇帝，怕罗嗦；想当官，怕事多；想吃饭，怕刷锅；真想揍你一顿，怕惹祸。
85. I want to be an emperor, but I’m afraid of nagging; I want to be an official, but I’m afraid of too much work; I want to eat, but I’m afraid of washing dishes; I really want to beat you up, but I’m afraid of causing trouble.
86.男人忽悠女人，叫调戏；女人忽悠男人，叫勾引；男女相互忽悠，叫爱情。
86. When men deceive women, it’s called teasing; when women deceive men, it’s called seducing; when men and women deceive each other, it’s called love.
87.人生没有彩排，每天都是直播；不仅收视率低，而且工资不高。
87. There is no rehearsal in life, every day is a live broadcast; not only is the viewership low, but the salary is also low.
88.人干点好事儿总想让鬼神知道，干点坏事儿总以为鬼神不知道，我们太让鬼为难了。
88. People always want the gods to know when they do good deeds, but they think the gods don’t know when they do bad things. We make it too difficult for the gods.
89.人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，礼让三分；人再犯我，我还一针；人还犯我，斩草除根。
89. If people don’t offend me, I won’t offend them; if they offend me once, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt; if they offend me again, I’ll retaliate; if they continue to offend me, I’ll eliminate them completely.
90.我这人从不记仇，一般有仇我当场就报了。
90. I am the kind of person who never holds grudges; generally, I settle scores on the spot.
91.每个人出生的时候都是原创，很可惜，很多人渐渐成了盗版。
91. Every person is born as an original, but unfortunately, many people gradually become counterfeit.
92.一天没带眼镜逛街，看到一个既帅气又熟悉的人。想过去看看到底是谁。原来是一面镜子。
92. One day, I went shopping without my glasses and saw someone who was both handsome and familiar. I wanted to go over and see who it was. It turned out to be a mirror.
93.承诺就像女人说要减肥一样，经常说却很难做到，一切都是假的话。
93. Promises are like women saying they want to lose weight; they often say it but find it hard to do, and everything is false.
94.爱情是毒药，糖衣太美妙，浅尝了即止就好，喝下了把命都送掉。
94. Love is a poison; the sugar coating is too delightful, so it’s better to just taste a little and stop; if you drink it all, you’ll lose your life.
95.不要把自己的伤口揭开给别人看，世界上多的不是医师，多的是撒盐的人。
95. Don’t expose your wounds to others; there are not many doctors in the world, but there are many people who add salt.
96.你信仰基督教，还是公鸡叫。
96. Do you believe in Christianity, or do you believe in the rooster’s crow?
97.你走你的阳光道，我走我的地下道。
97. You go your way in the sunlight, and I’ll go my way in the underground.
98.起的比鸡早，睡的比猫晚，赚的比秃子的毛还少。
98. I wake up earlier than a rooster and sleep later than a cat, but I earn even less than a bald man’s hair.
99.装成熟、是往老里打扮的行为。
99. Pretending to be mature is an act of dressing up as an old person.
100.忽然发现自从我配了眼镜就不敢出门了。
100. Suddenly, I realized that ever since I got glasses, I dare not go out.
1.把漂亮当资本是愚蠢，把漂亮当能能源是智慧。
1. Considering beauty as capital is foolish, considering beauty as energy is wise.
2.每当我找到了成功的钥匙，就有人把所给换了。
2. Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
3.你一出门，千山鸟飞绝，万径人踪灭。
3. As soon as you step out, a thousand mountains become devoid of birds, and ten thousand paths are devoid of human traces.
4.今天心情不好，我只有四句话想说，包括这句和前面的两句，我的话说完了。
4. I’m in a bad mood today; I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the two previous ones. My words are now finished.
5.好久没有人把牛皮吹的这么清新脱俗了！
5. It’s been a while since someone has boasted so elegantly and unconventionally!
6.胖人当然一样可以自信，但如果你耿耿于体重不能释怀，那么还是减肥吧
6. Fat people can certainly be confident, but if you can’t let go of your obsession with weight, then consider losing weight.
7.多亏我是个胖子，伤心时我可以捏捏肚子
7. Fortunately, I’m fat, so when I’m sad, I can pinch my belly.
8.那些说我不用减肥的人都是坏人。
8. Those who say I don’t need to lose weight are bad people.
9.不会到男装店找适合自己的“女装”。
9. Don’t look for “women’s clothes” that suit you in a men’s clothing store.
10.本来准备今年瘦成一道闪电，亮瞎你们的眼，不想竟然胖成了坚果墙，挡住了你们的视线。
10. I was planning to become a lightning bolt this year to blind your eyes, but I unexpectedly became a nut wall, blocking your view.
11.浪漫出游时，不会把男朋友自行车的后带磨平
11. When going out romantically, you won’t wear out the seat of your boyfriend’s bicycle.
12.夏天和男友一同逛街时，他不会老想走在你后面乘阴凉。
12. When strolling with your boyfriend in the summer, he won’t always want to walk behind you to enjoy the shade.
13.迎面走来的男士，错身，回头是因为欣赏而不是出于好奇。
13. A man walking towards you turns around and looks back because of admiration, not curiosity.
14.瘦出一张小脸，省了多少化妆品啊。
14. Having a small face saves so much makeup.
15.挤公车和地铁的时候，游刃有余。
15. When taking public transportation, you can maneuver easily.
16.要知道，对售货小姐说“有没有特大号的衣服”时，是一件很丢脸的事情;但是“这里的衣服都太肥了”却可以理直气壮地说出口。
16. You should know that asking the salesgirl, “Do you have extra-large clothes?” is embarrassing; however, saying “The clothes here are all too loose” can be said confidently.
17.连汤加国王都命令全国减肥了。
17. Even the King of Tonga has ordered the whole country to lose weight.
18.遗传学淡定地告诉我们：跨物种恋爱注定是没有好结果的。
18. Genetics calmly tells us: interspecies romance is doomed to have no good results.
19.月老啊！您能不要用山寨劣质的红绳给我牵姻缘？隔三差五断啊。
19. Matchmaker, can you not use counterfeit and low-quality red ropes to tie my marriage? They break every now and then.
20.何文轩曾对李清远说过一句话：你之所以还不是GAY，是因为还没遇到让你心动的男人。
20. He Wenxuan once said to Li Qingyuan: The reason you’re not gay is that you haven’t met a man who makes your heart race.
21.呸！我耳朵都竖起来了，你就给我听这个？”
21. Phew! My ears perked up, and this is what you give me to listen to?”
22.我无法拉伸生命的长度，但是我可以拓展生命的宽度。我胖了才显得你瘦，免得我瘦的时候显得你丑。
22. I cannot stretch the length of life, but I can expand the width of life. I gain weight to make you look thinner, so that when I’m thin, I don’t make you look ugly.
23.我的读书生涯仅仅能做的两件事就是看学霸秀成绩，看情侣秀恩爱。
23. The only two things I can do during my school years are to watch the top students show off their grades and watch couples show off their love.
24.再过几十年，我们来相会，送到火葬场，全部烧成灰，你一堆，我一堆，谁也不认识谁，全部送到农村做化肥。
24. In a few decades, we’ll meet again at the crematorium, all burned into ashes, you in one pile and me in another. No one will recognize anyone, and we’ll all be sent to the countryside as fertilizer.
25.冲动时我真恨不得变成动物，哪怕只是头卖力的牲畜。听凭主人的吩咐，不用感受做人的无助。或者干脆来个移花接木，彻底的做个变性手术。跑到人群中滥竽充数，也好让同胞们多一条可以选择的出路。
25. When I’m impulsive, I really wish I could become an animal, even just a hardworking beast of burden. To follow my master’s orders without experiencing the helplessness of being human. Or maybe I should just have a sex change surgery and blend into the crowd, giving my fellow people another choice.
26.光棍节到了，小鸟恋爱了，蚂蚁同居了，苍蝇怀孕了，蚊子流产了，蝴蝶离婚了，毛毛虫改嫁了，青蛙也生孩子了，你还在等什么呢?
26. Singles’ Day is here, the birds are in love, the ants are living together, the flies are pregnant, the mosquitoes have had miscarriages, the butterflies have divorced, the caterpillars have remarried, and the frogs have had children. What are you waiting for?
27.街上的婚介星罗棋布。我也曾幻想著他们能帮我打开销路。然而最终的结果是让我明白了什么叫认贼作父，并被婚托儿们榨干了我几年的收入。
27. There are numerous matchmaking agencies on the streets. I once fantasized that they could help me open up new opportunities. However, the final result made me understand what it means to “mistake a thief for a father” and got my income for several years squeezed dry by the marriage scammers.
28.众里寻她千百度，踏平脚下路。蓦然回首细环顾，大婶大娘无数。偶有美女光顾，还是有夫之妇，余下大多数，基本不堪入目。
28. After searching for her thousands of times, I tread the path beneath my feet. Suddenly looking back and taking a closer look, there are countless aunts and big sisters. Occasionally, a beautiful woman comes by, but she’s already married. The rest are mostly not worth looking at.
29.有个老太太都在缸里蹲半天了，多点时间让她透透气吧。
29. An old lady has been squatting in the jar for half a day; give her some more time to catch her breath.
30.唱歌给我听，开心了就让你走。
30. Sing me a song, and if it makes me happy, I’ll let you go.
31.在我尿频的时候你还在嘲笑我。
31. When I have frequent urination, you’re still making fun of me.
32.有些事，有些人，有些风景，一旦入眼入心，即便刹那，也是永恒。
32. Some things, some people, some scenery, once they enter the eye and the heart, even for a moment, they become eternal.
33.逃得了和尚，逃不了方丈。
33. You can escape a monk, but you can’t escape the abbot.
34.现在生米都已经煮成稀饭了。
34. Now the raw rice has already been cooked into porridge.
35.唾沫是用来数钞票的不是用来讲理的。
35. Spit is for counting money, not for reasoning.
36.跟我打赌，不是看你要什么，而是看我有什么……
36. Bet with me, it’s not about what you want, but what I have…
37.你每天都和他们聊到半夜，他们哪有时间创造人类呢？
37. You chat with them every day until midnight; when do they have time to create humanity?
38.我肯定会被砍成薯片的。
38. I’m sure I’ll be chopped into potato chips.
39.人生如戏，爱的是一个，结婚生子的又是另一个。很正常。
39. Life is like a drama; you love one person, but you marry and have children with another. It’s normal.
40.彪悍的人生是不需要解释的。
40. A fierce and powerful life requires no explanation.
41.好男人就是我我就是曾小贤。
41. A good man is me, and I am Zeng Xiaoxian.
42.你今天晚上必须给我上线，否则，我就把你名字写到碑上去。
42. You must come online tonight, otherwise, I will engrave your name on a tombstone.
43.说爱你，不一定是真的爱；说不爱你，那是真的一定爱过。
43. Saying I love you doesn’t necessarily mean I truly love you; saying I don’t love you really means I have indeed loved you in the past.
44.阿弥陀佛，出家人不打诳语。女施主，你的确是贫僧自东土出行至今所遇的，最美丽、最性感的女子，你看你这秀发，这玉手，这肌肤，这手感……
44. Amitabha Buddha, monks do not tell lies. Venerable lady, you are indeed the most beautiful and sexy woman I have encountered since I left the East. Look at your hair, your jade-like hands, your skin, and the touch of it…
45.我妈就生了我一个，你自己算算看我算老几呢。
45. My mother only gav
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