1、不要和我比懒，我懒得和你比。
1. Don’t compare laziness with me, I’m too lazy to compete with you.
2、钱不是问题，问题是没钱！
2. Money isn’t the problem, the problem is having no money!
3、一山不能容二虎，除非一公和一母。
3. One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless it’s a male and a female.
4、幸福的末班车不是没赶上，而是挤不上去。
4. The last train to happiness isn’t about missing it, but being unable to board.
5、无耻也是一种品质！思念是一种神经病！
5. Shamelessness is also a quality! Missing someone is a form of insanity!
6、流氓不可怕，就怕流氓有文化……
6. Hooligans are not to be feared, but rather, educated hooligans…
7、站的高，尿的远。
7. The higher you stand, the farther you can urinate.
8、天哪！我的衣服又瘦了。
8. Oh my! My clothes have shrunk again.
9、千万别跟我求婚，一求婚我就会答应。
9. Never propose to me, for I will definitely accept.
10、我总在牛A与牛C之间徘徊。
10. I always hover between A and C.
11、今天心情不好。我只有四句话想说。包括这句和前面的两句。我的话说完了。
11. Today, I’m in a bad mood. I have only four things to say. Including this sentence and the two before it. I’ve finished speaking.
12、但两个人相遇，接下来的不是故事就是事故。
12. When two people meet, what follows is either a story or an accident.
13、走自己的路，让别人打车去吧。
13. Walk your own path and let others take a taxi.
14、你不理财，财不理你。
14. If you don’t manage your money, it won’t manage you.
15、钱不是问题，问题是没钱！人不能在一棵树上吊死，要在附近几棵树上多死几次试试。
15. Money isn’t the problem, the problem is having no money! One should not hang oneself on a single tree, but try hanging on several nearby trees.
16、谁说我白，瘦，漂亮，我就跟他做好朋友。
16. Whoever says I’m fair, thin, and beautiful, I’ll be their good friend.
17、在傻瓜眼里，聪明人的聪明一文不值。
17. In the eyes of a fool, the intelligence of a wise person is worth nothing.
18、不是变化快，而是你太菜。
18. It’s not that change is fast, but rather that you’re too slow.
19、怀才就像怀孕，时间久了才能让人看出来。
19. Talent is like pregnancy; it takes time for others to notice.
20、俺从不写错字，但俺写通假字！
20. I never make mistakes in writing, but I write with homophones!
21、不要为旧的悲伤，浪费新的眼泪！
21. Don’t waste new tears for old sorrows!
22、你让我滚，我滚了。你让我回来，对不起，滚远了。
22. You told me to get lost, and I did. You want me back? Sorry, I’ve gone too far.
1.相信我，我会让你成为世界上第二幸福的人。
1. Believe me, I will make you the second happiest person in the world.
为什么不是第一呢？
Why not the first?
有了你，我就是最幸福的人！
With you, I am already the happiest person!
2.我可以向你问路吗？
2. May I ask you for directions?
到那里？
Where to?
到你心里。
To your heart.
3.最近我牙疼。
3. Lately, I’ve had a toothache.
为什么？
Why?
因为常常晚上想你,那感觉太甜蜜了,生蛀牙了。
Because I think of you every night, and it’s so sweet that it gave me cavities.
4.我可以向你借一块钱吗？
4. Can I borrow one dollar from you?
为什么？
Why?
我想打电话告诉我妈，我刚遇到我的梦中情人。也可以说：我要打电话给你妈妈谢谢她。
I want to call my mom and tell her I just met my dream lover. Also, I could say: I want to call your mom to thank her.
5.你爸爸是小偷吗？
5. Is your father a thief?
不是。
No.
那他怎么能把灿烂的星星偷来放在你双眸中呢？
Then how did he manage to steal the bright stars and put them in your eyes?
6.你的腿一定很累吧？
6. Your legs must be tired, right?
为什么？
Why?
因为你在我的脑海中跑了一整天。
Because you’ve been running in my mind all day long.
7.看她的衣服标签，当她说你在做什么时，
7. Look at her clothing label, and when she says, “What are you doing?”
回答：只是看看你是不是天堂制造的？
Reply: Just checking if you were made in heaven?
8.我希望你会心肺复苏术。
8. I hope you know CPR.
为什么？
Why?
因为你美得让我停止呼吸。
Because you’re so beautiful, you take my breath away.
9.小姐,请你把它还给我!
9. Miss, please give it back to me!
什么!
What?!
我的心，你用你的眼睛把它夺走了!
My heart, you’ve stolen it with your eyes!
10.我的眼睛一定有问题。
10. There must be something wrong with my eyes.
为什么？
Why?
我的视线无法自你身上离开。
I can’t take my eyes off you.
11.我今天很不顺利。
11. I’ve had a terrible day today.
那怎么办？
So what?
看见漂亮女生微笑会让我心情好一点,你可以为我笑一下吗？
Seeing a beautiful girl smile would cheer me up. Can you smile for me?
12.如果可以重新排列英文字母，我会把U跟I放在一起。
12. If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
为什么？
Why?
因为我想让你和我在一起。
Because I want you to be with me.
13.干嘛老看我？
13. Why are you always looking at me?
抱歉,我是艺术家,凝视美女是我的工作。
Sorry, I’m an artist, and gazing at beautiful women is my job.
14.没有人会喜欢我。
14. No one will ever like me.
你好，我叫没有人。
你好，我叫没有人。 Hello, my name is Nobody.
15.今天的雨真大。
15. The rain today is really heavy.
是啊!是啊!
Yes, yes!
那是因为老天对着你流口水。
It’s because the heavens are drooling at you.
16.喜欢一个人要大声说出来。
16. If you like someone, you should speak up.
出来！
Speak up!
17.“我想你现在一定很忙，所以我才决定发这条短信。”
17. “I thought you must be very busy now, so I decided to send this message.”
“不忙啊，为什么这么说？”
“Not busy, why do you say that?”
“因为我想发的是上一条的前三个字。”
“Because what I wanted to send was the first three words of the previous message.”
18.我睡觉啦!
18. I’m going to sleep!
嗯。
Mm.
睡醒之后你还会喜欢我吗？
Will you still like me when you wake up?
不喜欢了。
Not anymore.
那我不睡了。
Then I won’t sleep.
19.如果有人追我，你怎么办？
19. If someone chases me, what would you do?
我就绊倒他！
I’ll trip them!
20.你干嘛摸我的手？
20. Why are you touching my hand?
我只是想知道你经常用的沐浴露好不好用。
I just wanted to know if the shower gel you use often is good.
21.我爱上了一个女的。
21. I’ve fallen in love with a girl.
她一定很漂亮吧！
She must be very beautiful, right?
你太自恋了。
You’re so narcissistic.
22.男：我相信，早晚我要出现在你家的餐桌前。
22. Man: I believe that sooner or later, I will appear at your dining table.
女：你打算送外卖？
Woman: Are you planning to deliver takeout?
23.男：在你面前，我永远都是错的。
23. Man: In front of you, I am always wrong.
女：其实也可以不是这个样子。我以为在你面前，我永远都是对的！
Woman: Actually, it doesn’t have to be like this. I think in front of you, I am always right!
24.女：亲爱滴，你看我好漂亮呀！
24. Woman: Darling, don’t I look beautiful?
男：亲爱滴，我看你好自恋啊！
Man: Darling, you are so narcissistic!
女：尼玛，你给我滚床下面去！
Woman: Damn it, get under the bed!
25.女：在不？
25. Woman: Are you there?
男：我无处不在！
Man: I am everywhere!
26.女：晕哦
26. Woman: Oh my gosh.
男：来，往我怀里晕，Comeonbaby!
Man: Come on, faint into my arms, Come on baby!
27.女：呵呵;你叫什么？
27. Woman: Hehe, what’s your name?
男：我没叫啊，你又没非礼我？
Man: I didn’t call, you didn’t assault me, did you?
28.女：我是问你姓名。
28. Woman: I’m asking for your name.
男：噢耶～我复姓南宫叫鹏友，简称南鹏友！
Man: Oh yeah~ My surname is NanGong, and my given name is PengYou, also known as Nan PengYou!
29.女：又占我便宜。
29. Woman: You’re taking advantage of me again.
男：你又不是市场里的菜，我占你便宜作甚？
Man: You’re not a vegetable in the market, why would I take advantage of you?
30.女：呵呵，你真幽默！
30. Woman: Hehe, you’re really humorous!
男：大家都那么说！
Man: Everyone says so!
31.女：你真不谦虚。
31. Woman: You’re really not modest.
男：错！是我不虚伪！
1. Man: Wrong! I’m not hypocritical, I’m genuine!
32.女：你好自恋！
32. Woman: You’re so narcissistic!
男：错！我是自信！
Man: Wrong again! I’m confident!
33.女：我服了你。
33. Woman: I’m at a loss for words.
男：我60公斤在，你服的进去么？
Man: I weigh 60 kilograms, can you handle that?
34.女：你多大？
34. Woman: How old are you?
男：没法形容，很魁梧！
Man: It’s hard to describe, I’m quite robust!
35.女：你的年龄多少？
35. Woman: What’s your age?
男：二二得四，四四十六，十六加八减去四得多少？
Man: Two times two equals four, four times four equals sixteen, what’s sixteen plus eight minus four?
女：二十
Woman: Twenty
男：回答正确，可惜没奖。
Man: Correct answer, but no prize for you.
36.男：你多大？
36. Man: How old are you?
女：我十八了。
Woman: I’m eighteen.
男：十八真好！
Man: Eighteen is great!
女：何以见得？
Woman: Why do you think so?
男：都说十八十八一朵花哈！
Man: They say eighteen is like a blooming flower, haha!
女：那又怎么样？
Woman: So what?
男：我斗胆想摘你，如何？
Man: I boldly want to pick you, how about it?
女：我是带刺的玫瑰，你不怕？
Woman: I’m a thorny rose, aren’t you afraid?
男：pa字我打不出来。
Man: I can’t type the word “pa”.
37.女：你是哪儿的？
37. Woman: Where are you from?
男：中原。
Man: Zhongyuan.
女：额，中原哪里？
Woman: Um, where in Zhongyuan?
男：惭愧，在下四海为家居无定所！
Man: I’m ashamed to say that I call the whole world my home and have no fixed residence!
38.女：真的假的？
38. Woman: Really?
男：凭你的智慧我哄得了你不？
Man: With your wisdom, could I deceive you?
39.问：小龙女可以7年不见杨过你能么？
39. Q: Can you not see Yang Guo for 7 years like Xiaolongnv?
答：我可以一辈子不见杨过。
A: I can go a lifetime without seeing Yang Guo.
40.问：四个字形容一下你的开车水平。
40. Q: Describe your driving skills in four words.
答：交警无语。
A: Traffic police are speechless.
41.问：一个人对你说“偶吃的盐比你吃的饭还多！！”说明什么？
41. Q: If someone says to you, “I’ve eaten more salt than you’ve eaten rice!!” What does it mean?
答：口重
A: They have a heavy taste.
42.问：看完兽兽视频最大的感想是什么？
42. Q: What’s your biggest feeling after watching the Shou Si video?
答：手机太差了。
A: My phone is too bad.
43.问：公交车上一男的踩了你的脚，对你说“我是周杰伦”，你的反应？
43. Q: On the bus, a man steps on your foot and says, “I’m Jay Chou.” What’s your reaction?
答：踩回来。以后可以炫耀啦，我踩过周杰伦！
A: Step on his foot in return. Then I can brag that I’ve stepped on Jay Chou!
44.问：你花心吗？
44. Q: Are you a playboy?
答：以前别人都是用感叹号问我
A: People used to ask me with exclamation marks.
45.问：“去相亲，对面那女的咧嘴一笑，脸上好厚一块粉掉下来了，我该怎么办？”……
45. Q: “When going on a blind date, the woman across from you grins, and a thick layer of powder falls off her face. What should I do?”
答：“您太客气了，第一次见面就送粮食。”
A: “You’re too polite. On our first meeting, you’re already giving me food.”
46.问：如果你在图书馆看书，正入迷时，对面的异性用脚碰了你三次，你会？
46. Q: If you are reading in the library and you are engrossed in the book, and the opposite sex accidentally bumps into you three times with their foot, what would you do?
答：踩住。
A: Step on their foot.
47.问：情侣两个都在QQ上，但是双方都不说话已有10分钟，说明什么？
47. Q: If both you and your partner are on QQ, but neither of you has spoken for 10 minutes, what does it mean?
答：老板在旁边。
A: The boss is nearby.
48.问：给你1200元，买什么车好？
48. Q: What kind of car should you buy with 1200 yuan?
答：买副象棋吧，有四个车呢！另外还有四个宝马。
A: Buy a set of Chinese chess; there are four chariots in it! Plus, there are four BMWs as well.
49.问：养了10年的宠物和交往1周的恋人，必须舍弃1个，你选什么？
49. Q: If you have to give up either your pet of 10 years or your lover of 1 week, what would you choose?
答：舍弃宠物吧，把它送给恋人。
A: Give up the pet and send it to the lover.
50.问：结婚用什么车娶亲最cool？
50. Q: What is the coolest car to use for a wedding?
答：布加迪威航开路，阿斯顿马丁摄像，齐柏林DS8护航，新郎新娘骑驴。
A: A Bugatti Veyron leading the way, an Aston Martin for filming, a Zeppelin DS8 as escort, and the bride and groom riding donkeys.
51.问：当恋人/老公从熟睡中突然抱住你说“我喜欢你，你喜欢我吗？’
51. Q: If your partner/husband suddenly hugs you in their sleep and says, “I like you, do you like me?”
答：你不要惊醒他，轻声问：“我叫什么名字啊？……”
A: Don’t wake them up, and whisper, “What’s my name?”
52.问：同时说1种花，看谁和我有默契~~
52. Q: Let’s both say one type of flower and see
......(隐藏23681字)
该专辑为收费专辑，购买专辑后可以阅读全部内容
